The new definition for the word “illegal” is “special.” At least that’s the way it seems if you’ve entered our country illegally or refused to leave when your visa expired.
If you are an illegal alien, you can get “in-state” tuition to attend college; can use the emergency room as your HMO; can scam the Internal Revenue Service out of $4.2 billion dollars per year by claiming children that don’t even live in the country; can get food stamps; can get WIC (They accept foreign ID); and you won’t be reported by the US Labor Department to Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) if you’re a day laborer.
Speaking of deportation, you will no longer be deported if you are enrolled in any type of education program; a family member has volunteered for military service; you have filed a civil rights lawsuit; you are pregnant or nursing; or if you’ve not been convicted of a crime. Even better, you’ll also reportedly receive a work permit by the Obama administration if you are allowed to stay.
In the unlikely event you are detained for future deportation, you may be sent to the federal detention center in Karnes City, Texas. This 608-bed facility sits on 29 acres, and boasts a library with internet access, cable TV, basketball courts, a fitness center, soccer fields and even a dining facility complete with salad bar.
There are no guards, just “resident advisors.” Instead of uniforms, the “advisors” wear less threatening polo shirts and khakis and more importantly-- are unarmed. This facility only cost the American taxpayers $32 million to build. If you can delay being detained a little longer, two more of these are being built, one outside of Chicago and one in southern Florida.
In the event you are detained in one of the older facilities, there is still great news. Changes have been put in place at all the detention facilities. These include: hanging plants, free movement for detainees, longer visiting hours, replacing guards with “unit managers,” allowing you to wear your own clothing, free email access, free phone service, dance classes, movie nights, art classes,
cooking classes, tutoring and computer training, and self-serve beverage stations
In addition to the new amenities, ICE has also reduced or in some cases, eliminated pat-down searches. This may have angered Tre Rebstock, president of the ICE union in Houston. He told the Houston Chronicle: “Our biggest concern is that someone is going to get hurt.” He continued: “My grandparents would have loved to have bingo night and a dance class at the retirement home they were in when they passed away, but that was something we would have had to pay for. And yet these guys are getting it on the taxpayers' dime.” What does Tre know anyway? Of the 33,000 illegal aliens being detained currently by ICE, only about half are felons.
If you are transgendered or needing an abortion, free sex-change hormones and free abortion services are provided. It won’t cost you a dime.
Isn’t it great that during the worst economic period this nation has experienced since the Great Depression, as millions of Americans continue to face unemployment and lose their homes in record numbers, that American taxpayers are still able to pay for illegal aliens (Oops—I mean special people) to live more comfortably and be given the sort of medical care that by President Obama’s own estimate—more than 40 million Americans cannot afford for themselves.
And now, your children up to the age of 30 have been given amnesty, not by Congress where it is supposed to happen, but by executive order. Some say this amnesty order is illegal but if you apply the new definition, it’s just special.