Rajjpuut's Folly: Overworked Al Gore, Polar Bear Hunter, Seeks Serious Back-up

Normally Rajjpuut himself handles even the most difficult or inconvenient interviews, however, because of a conflicting commitment, the following was farmed out to Liberal blogger Payne Hertz an experienced hand who generally completes even the most challenging assignment successfully . . . . The interview was recorded on location in the Brooks Range of Alaska “above” the Arctic Circle near the “Pink Eye” Glacier. However, because of the bitterly frigid conditions, the equipment loaned to the interviewer (Rajjpuut’s video recorder, normal tape recorder and three individual ball-point pens) all failed to function. So except for roughly the first five or six minutes of the seventy-minute interview when the recorder was functioning, all that can be relied upon now are 96-year old reporter Payne Hertz’s memory of a stimulating and somewhat shocking interview with Al Gore. Thankfully, our man in the frozen tundra’s memory is sharp as a tack.
Q: Mr. Vice President, I’ve never conducted an interview under conditions like this before. Just a few minutes ago I spit and my saliva seemed to “explode” in mid-air, and then again when it reached the snow it really made a “boom-crackle” sort of explosion. How do you take this? Just how much experience do you have living up here north of the Arctic Circle in the middle of winter?
A: Eh, Vice President? . . . . spent roughly twenty years prospecting here near Pink Eye and it gets so you almost don’t need a thermometer ‘n don’t mind the cold much. When spit “pops” on the snow you’re about 50-below zero; when it “crackles” in the air, it’s pre’r near -80. When it explodes both places it’s 2 ---
Q: 2--?
A: Yeah, too damn cold! Little Alaskan humor there . . . .
Q: Uh-huh, Mr. Gore, I can’t help but notice that this outdoor lifestyle is really doing you a world of good, you look fitter, and maybe 60 pounds lighter, younger and healthier; quite frankly, if I didn’t know it was you, I’d swear I was talking to a younger and much more athletic person. You've even grown back a full head of hair!
A: Athletic, huh? Been this way since I finished high school. Anywho, t’aint no chubby boys survives up here.
Q: Ah . . . anyway, can you tell me about your work documenting the polar bear populations?
A: Documanting-spockumanting? Cousin Al from Tennessee, relative of mine, offered it, so ah' got hired, got to kill the damn things.
Q: Kill ‘em? You’re killing polar bears?
A: Damn straight, Mister, get $600 for each left rear paw he gets in the mail
Q: Hold it, a minute? You’re not Al Gore!
A: Wanna see m’ pilot’s license?
Q: Ye-ea-ah . . . .
A: See right there, Alvin Mulford Gore, be 39 tomarrah . . . .
Q: But, but . . . well, who hired you to kill the bears?
A: Cousin Al from Tennessee . . . .
Q: From Tennessee?
A: Just like in the po’m ‘bout “Sam McGee from Tennessee” getting hisself cremated . . . m’ cousin Al from Tennessee he says there’s way too many polar bears for the projections and he pays me $600 for each left foot I fetch him . . .
Q: Holy Shi_! Ah, I mean, how many have feet have you sent him?
A: After he gets this one t’will be 39-hunnert in six years.
Q: Ooh, that foot's more red than white . . . You’ve killed 3,900 polar bears!
A: Was that a question?
Q: You've actually killed almost 4,000 polar bears????
A: Yeah, but gonna need some backup soon . . . .
Q: Backup!
A: Cousin Al says we’re fallin’ way behind
Q: Your cousin Al, he’s Al Gore the ex-Vice President of the United States who’s been preaching “Global Warming for the last dozen years?
A: Globalfrigg’n warming, are you screwin’ w’ me? (here the interview was paused while Alvin Mulford Gore laughed for roughly ten minutes straight). Brother, you’re killing me, thought my heart would give out (he laughs for another couple minutes). Globalfrigg’n warming . . . don’t think I’ve ever, does this feel like global friggin' warming to you . . . .
Q: Back to my question, your cousin Al, he’s Al Gore the ex-Vice President of the United States who’s been preaching “Climate Change” for the last dozen years?
A: Don’t know nothin’ ‘bout that, Cousin Al used to sell cigarettes til’ they killed his sis. He does whatever's necessary to make his business grow . . . you oughta see his jet!
Q: Wow! I mean, . . . just how many “back-ups” will you need to get the polar bear population in check?
A: Lot's, ah' get a $40,000 bonus if ah’ extincts ‘em all, an I can pay 'em say $200 a paw . . . 'bout a dozen or so back-ups oughta do . . .
Q: You mean to say you'd get a bounty from your Cousin Al for killing every single polar bear alive!
A: It would help him with his projections . . . but just 'tween us, ah' couldn't continue to kill 'em if'n they were all of 'em dead, so I aim to leave just a few breedin' pairs around and then do the final extinctin' 'bout my retirement age or just before . . . lots o' good job security that way
At this point all of the mechanical recording devices and pens had all failed and unfortunately our aged interviewer’s memory also failed . . . or so we were told, however, Rajjpuut suspects that the aged Liberal’s political beliefs kept him from giving us the rest of the story, just like Time Magazine’s Joe Klein and Climate Gate, it seems . . . .

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ALERT ALERT

Obama Lies Again: – Ignores That The Year After Signing The Stimulus More Than (4) Million Jobs Were Lost

Former President Obama, the only President in US history who had his FBI and other Intel agencies spy on the opposition party candidate, claims that he created the great economy that Americans are enjoying today. The only thing Obama created was debt and massive job losses with his horrible economic recovery.

Yesterday the former President tweeted an effort to take credit for President Trump’s successful economy:

Joe Hoft@joehoft

Of course another @BarackObama lie. He can’t open his mouth without lying. 11 years ago the US lost (4.3) million jobs over the next 12 months. Horrible liar. https://twitter.com/barackobama/status/1229432034650722304 

Barack Obama  @BarackObama

Eleven years ago today, near the bottom of the worst recession in generations, I signed the Recovery Act, paving the way for more than a decade of economic growth and the longest streak of job creation in American history.

President Obama’s policies were a disgrace and a failure. He doubled the national debt in spite of zero interest rates from the Fed. His recovery was the worst in US history.

Also, Obama’s assertion is just plain false. The ‘Stimulus’ was passed in February 2009 right after Obama took over the Presidency. He promised to not pass any bills for at least a week to allow for the bills to be read by the people but lied as soon as he was sworn in. The Stimulus was hundreds and hundreds of pages of government handouts to Democrat districts and it was close to $1 million. This was not what America needed and it led to the Tea Party.

Far-left Wikipedia has this to say about the Stimulus:

Note that in his infinite wisdom, NYT economist Paul Krugman is credited with arguing that “the stimulus was far smaller than the economic crisis warranted”. (He also said the markets would crash and burn if President Trump was elected President.)

The data shows that the 12 months after Obama’s stimulus, the US lost 4.3 million jobs:

In Obama’s first three years he netted a loss of 1.5 million jobs compared to President Trump who has added more than 6.7 million jobs.

When it comes to the economy, the billionaire schools the community organizer every time.

Tucker: Bloomberg is trying to buy the election

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