Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean President Obama, Sir. Um . . I know you're busy, and important and stuff. I mean, running the country is very important and -- ah -- I hate to bother you, Sir. I will only take a minute. Ok, Sir?See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering, Sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.Hey, you have a nice place here! The wife sees houses like this on TV all the time and says, boy, she wishes she had digs like this, you know? Is that painting real? Really? Wow! I saw something like that in a museum once. Oh, sorry Sir. I didn't mean to get off the track.So if you could just help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right out of your way. I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney Island or something. Ever been to Coney Island Sir? No? I didn't think so....Well, listen, anyway, I can't seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be "Not released" or "Not available." I'm sure it's just an oversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell me where these things are I have them written down here somewhere -- oh wait. I'll just read it to you.Could you please help me find these things, Sir?1. Occidental College records -- Not released2. Columbia College records -- Not released3. Columbia Thesis paper -- "Not available"4. Harvard College records -- Not released5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released6. Medical records -- Not released7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- Not available8. Your Illinois State Senate records -- Not available9. Law practice client list -- Not released10. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate -- Not released11. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth -- Not released12. Record of your baptism -- Not available13. Why your wife, Michelle, can no longer practice law as an attorney? (Insurance Fraud?)_14. Why your wife has 22 assistants, when other First Ladies had one?15. Why were you getting "foreign student aid" as a college student?16. Which countries "passport" did you have when you visited Pakistan in 1981?17. Where did the extra 300+ million overseas donations come from for the campaign?18. Where did the stimulus money really go?19. Where did the 2.2 Trillion that disappeared through the Federal Reserve go?20. Why did you get kickbacks from Fannie Mae for over 10 years?21. Why did you issue an Executive order protecting your records the first day in office?22. What was the supposed New York photo-op really about?23. Why did you pledge 100 Billion$ of our money to the world bank?24. Why did you create the new office of healthcare commissioner in your branch through an executive order back in March 2009?25. Why do you have over 35 Czars?26. Why did you say there are 57 states?27. Why did you refer to your daughter as "Maya" and not correct it?28. Why have you blocked 9/11 families from investigating Saudi Arabia for a link to 9/11?29. Why are you stalling on the investigation of Ft. Hood?30. Why are you letting the Justice Dept. refuse to cooperate in prosecuting the Black Panthers?31. Why are you having at least one party a week at the Whitehouse with expensive bands while the economy is in such trouble?32. Why did you pay 18 million$ for an upgrade to a single website?33. Why did you stay in a hotel while speaking in New York for 7,500$/night for 4 nights?34. Why are you spending another 1.1 Trillion on the economy when the first nearly 1 Trillion resulted in fake jobs in fake Congressional districts?35. Why have completely ignored science and Climategate?36. Why are you offering bribes for votes with our tax money for your agendas?37. Why are you threatening our national security by threatening to close a base hosting strategic air command in a state whose Senator refused to vote for your healthcare takeover?38. Why did you print up a fake certificate of live birth using an image template from the Internet?39. Why are you ramming through unconstitutional legislation left and right not allowing any transparency for Congress and public in viewing any of this legislation before taking votes?40. Why is ACORN still getting massive government funding and eligible for up to 8 Billion?41. Why did you give the CEO of the company (General Dynamics)that hacked the passports during the campaign 900 million just after you got in office?42. Why did the blueprints for Marine One get leaked over a "shared folder" with Iran on your watch?43. Why did you have Marine One updated and totally remodeled when the military said it wasn't necessary?44. Why did you meet at least twice and have your picture taken with the "DinnerGate" crashers years before they supposedly crashed the White House State dinner the day after ClimateGate?45. Why is China telling you not to spend anymore money?46. Why did you fly the Chinese Flag on US soil near the White House property during the Chinese 60th anniversary?47. Why have you said you taught Constitutional Law but when asked about the Constitution, Constitutional Scholars say you know nothing about it?48. Why is the CIA Professor who taught your International Relations class at Columbia now your top foreign policy advisor?49. Why is a property in Chicago using your brother-in-law's wife name paid for by a known Al Qaeda front company that was investigated for working on the sprinkler systems 3 days before 9/11 (Magic Plumbing of NJ)?50. Why did you defend a known Iranian front operation as a Lawyer that was funneling US money to Iran science and technology sectors under the guise of "The Iran Earthquake Relief Fund"?51. Why did you sign an executive order during the Christmas holidays giving diplomatic immunity upon INTERPOL.Oh and one more thing Mr.. President, I can't seem to find any articles you published as editor of the Harvard Law Review, or as a Professor at the University of Chicago. Can you explain that to me, Sir?Well Mr. Obama at this point - we seem to be getting a place where the puppy needs to use the lawn.. By the way you probably have a great lawncare company to clean up the, well he is not puppy anymore. Oh, but hey -- listen! I know you're busy! If this is too much for you right now -- I mean -- tell you what. I'll come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you're busy. I'll just let myself out.I'll be back tomorrow.. And the day after. . ..What's that Mr. President? Who wants toknow these things?We the People of the United States ofAmerica ! You know, the ones that vote.