hammer (6)

Montgomery, ‘THE HAMMER’ Surveillance System Whistleblower, Became The Deep State’s Enemy Number One After Exposing The Truth

By Mary Fanning and Alan Jones

Remember, do not kill a mockingbird. When a whistleblower is singing for America’s protection, we embrace and celebrate him.

Inventor and software designer Dennis Montgomery, a CIA/DOD/DHS/NSA/FBI  contractor-turned-whistleblower, alerted FBI Director James Comey’s office in 2015 that President Obama’s CIA Director John Brennan and Obama’s Director of National Intelligence James Clapper had turned the super-surveillance system that Montgomery designed for foreign surveillance, known as THE HAMMER into a domestic surveillance system.

Montgomery became alarmed when Obama and his intelligence chiefs Brennan and Clapper turned the super-surveillance system against the American people.

Montgomery asserts that Obama, Brennan, and Clapper used THE HAMMER in a diabolically intrusive manner in order to spy on the American people and collect massive amounts of surveillance data for “leverage” and “blackmail.”

THE HAMMER was only to be used for foreign surveillance, not to be weaponized for domestic surveillance against the American people, according to Montgomery and to U.S. military sources.  

According to those U.S. military sources, Montgomery’s surveillance technology not only saved American lives as America’s “War on Terror” broadened, but also featured built-in safeguards to prevent the system from ever being used for domestic surveillance.

“Multiple echelons” of government, including the FISA court, had to sign off on each and every foreign surveillance operation conducted with the use of THE HAMMER, those sources say.

Montgomery claims that Brennan and Clapper used the super-surveillance system Montgomery designed to spy on Article III federal judges, including the onetime head of the FISA court Judge Reggie Walton, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, and Chief Justice of U.S. Supreme Court John Roberts.

Montgomery’s revelations about his super-surveillance system THE HAMMER call into question Chief Justice Robert’s strange and inexplicable 2012 decision that stood in direct opposition to his own stated legal argument. At the eleventh hour, Roberts flipped and supported the individual mandate for President Obama’s highly unpopular Affordable Care Act.

Montgomery, who is constrained by non-disclosure agreements, has spoken about the system but has not publicly identified the system by name. The secretly-recorded “Whistleblower Tapes” identify the name of the system as “THE HAMMER,” as we first reported in our March 17, 2017 exclusive exposé. The March 2017 WikiLeaks CIA Vault 7 document dump confirms the name of the system as THE HAMMER (HAMR).

Military sources, we can now report exclusively, confirm the existence of the super-surveillance system known as THE HAMMER. Those sources caution that the super-surveillance system was only to be used for foreign surveillance.

Comey Knew

In August 2015, Montgomery turned over to FBI General Counsel James Baker, who represented the office of FBI Director Comey, physical evidence, in the form of 47 computer hard drives containing 600 million pages of documents.

Montgomery maintains that the data on the hard drives prove the existence of THE HAMMER and prove that Brennan and Clapper engaged in illegal domestic surveillance, despite the existence of safeguards that were already in place.

On August 19, 2015, Montgomery turned over the hard drives under two immunity agreements struck with the U.S. Department of Justice. The 600 million pages of documents stored on those hard drives, when stacked one upon another, would measure a stunning thirty miles high, says Montgomery.

The FBI provided Montgomery with a detailed receipt for the 47 hard drives, including handwritten descriptions of each and every hard drive.

FBI Director Jim Comey took Montgomery’s evidence and buried it.

Montgomery’s claim that Obama, Brennan, and Clapper illegally spied on millions of Americans is by itself explosive.

Montgomery’s identification, by name, of one particular U.S. citizen that Montgomery insists was under constant surveillance “for years” by Obama, Brennan, and Clapper via THE HAMMER has led Obama’s inner circle to take desperate measures.

The name of that U.S. citizen targeted by THE HAMMER is Donald J. Trump.

Whistleblower Tapes: Trump Wiretapped "A Zillion Times" By 'The Hammer,' Brennan’s and Clapper's Secret Computer System - The American Report

The Whistleblower Tapes released by U.S. District Judge G. Murray Snow reveal that Donald Trump was wiretapped a “zillion times.”

The CIA feared Trump, maintains Montgomery.

Donald Trump and his late father Fred Trump are both known for their lifelong aversion to communism.

President Obama’s CIA Director, admitted communist John Brennan, feared Trump.

As we previously reported, Brennan and Comey both affirmed their belief in communism.

We noted in our May 12, 2019 exlusive exposé connecting “THE HAMMER” to FBI Director Comey’s launch of the Trump Russia Collusion investigation that John Brennan admitted  during his initial CIA polygraph test that he voted for Communist Party USA (CPUSA) candidate Gus Hall in the 1976 presidential election.

Comey, we simultaneously reported, told New York Magazine “I’d moved from Communist to whatever I am now."

Frank Marshall Davis, President Barack Obama’s mentor during Obama’s formative years in Hawaii, was a card-carrying Communist Party USA member (CPUSA member #47544) and suspected KGB agent who was listed on the FBI’s Security Index, Davis’s lengthy FBI file reveals. According to Paul Kengor, “Davis hailed Joe Stalin’s state for its alleged freedom and democracy.”

Stalin could only have dreamed of a Soviet surveillance system with capabilities approaching those of THE HAMMER. Russian historian Alexander Solzhenitsyn says that Stalin murdered 60 million of his own countrymen during his reign of terror.

With THE HAMMER, Brennan, Clapper, and Obama were implementing a political system — communism — that is antithetical to America’s system of justice and to the U.S. Constitution.  

Under the U.S. Constitution, the purpose of American government is to secure the rights of each American to life, liberty, and private property.

Brennan, Clapper, and Obama illegally used THE HAMMER as a technological instrument of tyranny in order to take away Americans’ inalienable rights as outlined under the U.S. Constitution.

These conspirators transformed a high technology tool designed to protect the American people from foreign threats into a tool of tyranny.

During a 2017 radio interview with his attorney Larry Klayman, Montgomery explained:

I provided to the FBI seventeen businesses of Donald Trump, including the Trump Tower, the Trump leasing programs, all of these different programs, and including Trump himself and the various family members that had been wiretapped under these programs. There has been a wiretap on Trump for years...

...I was a CIA contractor both under John Brennan and under James Clapper and these individuals were running domestic surveillance programs in the United States collecting information on Americans...they collected everything they could find. Bank accounts, phone numbers, chats, emails, and they collected a massive amount of it under the Obama administration.

According to sources, Comey was the general counsel and senior vice president of Lockheed Martin when Montgomery was paid $8,000 to use a supercomputer at a Lockheed facility in the Los Angeles area to collate the tranche of data harvested by The Hammer into individual files for each of the individuals being targeted

“The proof of Donald Trump being wiretapped is in the documents that were handed over to the FBI” Attorney Klayman told reporter Fanning.

Brennan and Clapper covertly operated THE HAMMER out of a U.S. government facility in the Washington, D.C. suburb of Fort Washington, Maryland, according to the secretly-recorded audio tapes released by a U.S. District Judge G. Murray Snow in 2015.

From September 13, 2001 until June 2006, Clapper was the director of the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency (NGA), known until 2003 as the National Imagery and Mapping Agency (NIMA).  Clapper’s previous post as NGA director is an important detail because NGA is known to operate out of Fort Washington.

Obama and his henchmen were using THE HAMMER to create a tyrannical police state in America worthy of the East German Stasi or Hitler’s Gestapo.

According to Montgomery, the FBI, under Director Robert Mueller’s leadership, provided the computers for THE HAMMER super-surveillance system.

Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia collusion investigation entirely cleared President Donald Trump of collusion with the Russians.

Regardless of the evidence and the $35 million dollar two-year investigation, many, including John Brennan and James Clapper and, according to Democrats’ spin, Robert Mueller himself, continue to smear and characterize President Trump as guilty of collusion and treason.


THE HAMMER Was Ground Zero Of the Trump Russia Collusion Hoax; Obama Administration Insiders Are Panicking

As Department of Justice investigators begin the hunt for the true origins of the Russia collusion investigation, Democrat insiders are beginning to unravel. Blood is in the water. And it is their own.

Brennan, Clapper, and Comey are maintaining and even ramping up their relentless tempo of frenetic television appearances as they struggle to keep their stories straight.  The conspirators are turning on one another.


Many of these insiders appear to be well aware of THE HAMMER and of the Obama administration’s illegal surveillance of Donald Trump.

Evelyn Farkas, a former Obama administration Defense Department official and Russia specialist, blurted out during a March 2, 2017 television appearance on MSNBC “the Trump folks if they found out how we knew what we knew about the Trump staff dealing with Russians that they would try to compromise the sources and methods meaning that we would no longer have access to that intelligence.”

VIDEO:  EVELYN FARKAS MSNBC https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMT9zdnZm9I

The unravelling of the Russia collusion scheme and the coup d'etat will lead to the trial of the century that will make the Rosenbergs look like small-time crooks.

Our May 12, 2019 exclusive feature investigation “Comey Launched Trump Russia Investigation Day After General Exposed ‘The Hammer’” first identified THE HAMMER as ground zero of the Trump Russia collusion investigation.

The Russia Collusion investigation was a coup launched in response to the exposure of THE HAMMER.

When two four-star flag officers of sterling reputation brought THE HAMMER to America’s airwaves the Deep State panicked.

U.S. Air Force General Thomas McInerney (Ret.), U.S. Navy Admiral James A. “Ace” Lyons (Ret.), and Dr. Dave Janda, during the March 19, 2017 broadcast of Janda’s “Operation Freedom” terrestrial radio program, dared to bring the truth to the American people.

Within a matter of hours, the Deep State jumped into action.


Fanning and Jones revealed on May 12, 2019 at The American Report:

FBI Deputy Assistant Director of the Counterintelligence Division Peter Strzok and his supposed paramour, FBI lawyer Lisa Page, exchanged a cryptic, indeed coded, text message on Sunday, March 19, 2017, twenty-six minutes after retired U.S. Air Force Four Star General Thomas McInerney read our exclusive “Whistleblower Tapes” exposé over America’s airwaves, revealing “The Hammer”...

...Late that Sunday evening, just hours after General McInerney’s radio appearance, Strzok and Page exchanged a text message that explicitly referenced Dennis Montgomery and Montgomery’s attorney Larry E. Klayman.

General McInerney appeared on Dr. Dave Janda’s “Operation Freedom” that broadcasts from terrestrial radio station WAAM 1600.

The next morning, the Russian Collusion investigation was born.

Early the following morning, Monday, March 20, 2017, FBI Director Jim Comey announced before the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence that the FBI Counterintelligence Division, where Strzok served as Deputy Assistant Director, was investigating Trump’s connections to the Kremlin, and that the FBI had “no information” to support Trump’s tweet claiming that President Obama wiretapped Trump.

Montgomery’s Journey From Computer Genius To Enemy Of The Deep State

Dennis Montgomery was celebrated and hailed from many quarters as a “computer genius.”

Montgomery was later reduced from whistleblower to enemy number one of the Deep State, with purpose and forethought. Those holding and abusing positions of power within the intelligence community who had previously hired Dennis Montgomery as a national security contractor for classified projects could not afford to have him expose their duplicitous and treasonous actions.


Montgomery claims that the FBI buried its investigation into his federal whistleblower claims about illegal domestic surveillance and that U.S. intelligence agencies, several years earlier, attempted to destroy his reputation.

According to Montgomery, the same intelligence agencies, after they had finished smearing his reputation, quietly rehired him.

In 2011, James Risen and Eric Lichtblau authored a New York Times article in which they painted Montgomery as a fraud, citing CIA sources.

In 2016, Montgomery sued Risen and the publisher of Risen’s book Pay any Price: Greed, Power, and Endless War for defamation over a chapter that portrayed Montgomery’s work for the U.S. government as a hoax.

Lichtblau has been exposed. Lichtblau, who was working as CNN editor, and two other reporters resigned from CNN in June 2017 after CNN retracted their discredited story linking the Trump transition team to a Russian investment fund. Only two months earlier, CNN had recruited Lichtblau to its investigative unit.

Montgomery stated in an interview with Larry Klayman:

They [the intelligence agencies] leaked false information about me in 2009 and 2011 to the press to discredit me in case their domestic surveillance programs ever became public. Somebody leaked my name to [New York Times reporter James Risen] saying that my work for the government didn’t work and so forth, which is ridiculous.

My work saved lives…he knew that I could not respond to his [Risen’s] articles because I was under U.S. protective gag order on me saying I could not respond to anything, and I had the state secrets privilege filed against me that if I would have violated I would have been charged with treason under the U.S. Espionage Act…

...Stroke or no stroke, I am going to expose the CIA and NSA misdeeds until the American people know the truth. I have put my family for years at great risk by coming forward. This is my last stand for America.


  • November, 2015

U.S. District Judge G. Murray Snow releases the “Whistleblower Tapes.”

  • August 19, 2015

Dennis Montgomery, under a limited immunity agreement, turns over to Comey’s FBI 47 hard drives that he says prove the existence of Brennan’s and Clapper’s super surveillance system.

  • March 4, 2017

President Trump tweets that Obama wiretapped him.

  • March 7, 2017

WikiLeaks dumps CIA Vault 7, confirming the existence of The Hammer (HAMR).

  • March 17, 2017

Whistleblower Tapes: Trump Wiretapped “A Zillion Times” By “The Hammer,” Brennan’s And Clapper’s Secret Computer System” by Mary Fanning and Alan Jones published at TheAmericanReport.org.

  • March 19, 2017 3:30 pm

General Thomas McInerney exposes The Hammer on America’s airwaves with Dr. Dave Janda during Operation Freedom on WAAM 1600.

  • March 19, 2017 4:26 pm

Strzok and Page exchange cryptic text.

  • March 19, 2017 11:00 pm

Strzok and Page exchange text referencing Montgomery and Klayman hours after General McInerney’s radio interview about The Hammer

  • March 20, 2017

Comey announces Russia collusion investigation.

  • April 24, 2017

FISA court lets Brennan, Clapper and others amend their statements and orders destruction of criminal case records.

  • May 12, 2019

Comey Launched Trump Russia Investigation Day After General Exposed ‘The Hammer’” by Mary Fanning and Alan Jones published at TheAmericanReport.org.

  • May 13, 2019

U.S. Attorney General William Barr appoints John Durham, the U.S. attorney in Connecticut, to explore the origins of the Trump Russia collusion investigation.





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By Mary Fanning and Alan Jones
Senior FBI and DOJ officials involved in Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s Russian collusion investigation were also previously assigned to investigate whistleblower Dennis Montgomery’s claim that Obama administration officials John Brennan and James Clapper spied on Donald Trump.
Montgomery asserts that the FBI, under FBI Director Mueller, supplied the computers used to create a private, illegal, unconstitutional, super surveillance system that President Obama’s intelligence chiefs used to spy on Trump.
FBI Director James B. Comey, FBI General Counsel James A. Baker, and five of Mueller’s hand-picked recruits to his Russian collusion investigation team, including Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, were involved in the “buried” FBI investigation into CIA/DNI/NSA whistleblower Dennis L. Montgomery’s claims.
Montgomery specifically alleges that President Obama’s intelligence chiefs, CIA Director John Brennan and Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, with computers supplied by Robert Mueller, used their newly-created illegal surveillance system to spy on Trump, Trump’s associates, Supreme Court justices, and millions of innocent Americans.
“The proof of Donald Trump being wiretapped is in the documents that were handed over to the FBI” Montgomery’s attorney Larry Klayman told reporters Fanning and Jones.
Federal Judge Richard J. Leon on December 27, 2018 denied a request by the DOJ and Mueller’s Special Counsel Office to delay a court date for author Jerome Corsi’s $350 million lawsuit against Robert Mueller, the DOJ, CIA, FBI, and NSA.
Corsi is suing Mueller and those intelligence agencies for targeting him with “illegal and unconstitutional” surveillance and blackmail.
DOJ lawyers argued unsuccessfully that the January 3, 2019 3:00 pm court date should be delayed on the grounds that the federal government is partially shut down.
Corsi is represented in that case by attorney Larry E. Klayman.
In a separate case, whistleblower Montgomery and his attorney Klayman filed a joint lawsuit in 2017 against Barack Obama, Mueller, the CIA, the FBI, the NSA and other federal officials and agencies. Montgomery’s and Klayman’s lawsuit alleged that the defendants ignored and then covered up Montgomery’s whistleblower complaints of illegal domestic surveillance.
In 2015 Klayman helped Montgomery secure limited immunity agreements in exchange for turning over computer hard drives and other physical evidence of that illegal surveillance to FBI Director James Comey’s office.
Montgomery reportedly held a top secret security clearance as well as the rare “above top secret” SAP (Special Access Program) security clearance.
Strzok and Page exchanged text message about Montgomery and Klayman after a retired four star Air Force general discussed Montgomery and secret surveillance system known as “The Hammer” during radio show
Continue at link...

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June 19, 2011: Happy Fathers Day! 


When You’re Holding a Hammer (Everything Looks Like a Nail)



Questions about Obama’s citizenship status from before the election in 2008 have come full circle, you might say the most Holy Reverend Jeremiah Wright, was right, chickens do come home to roost. Obama is not a “Natural Born Citizen”, and his alliance by birth is to two countries. Obama’s release of his Long Form Birth Certificate April 27, 2011, is a prima facie admission that the two alleged disqualifiers for the Presidency, is now confirmed as fact.


NOTE: This call to action is not a question of Obama’s qualification (at this step), rather it is a question of Congresses Constitutional understanding of the requirements to run for the President of the United States of America, and their (Congressmen’s) oath to uphold that Constitution, as being questioned by their employer, We the People aka the HAMMER.


As Obama has now confirmed he was not qualified to run for president pursuant to The Constitution of the United States of America. All current members of Congress, Republicans, Democrats and other’s, aka NAIL(S) totaling 100 in the Senate and 435 in the House, have by their silence, confirmed they are either an ACCESSORY BEFORE and/or AFTER THE FACT.


Prior such violations of our Constitution if any, does not set precedence as one crime or intent (action taken or not) cannot be used to validate another like crime or intent.  The old adage applies: two wrongs don’t make a right. Better check Mitt Romney’s “Natural Born Citizen” status while we are at it.  


To determine who has and/or is continuing to PERVERT the Constitution, it is VERY IMPORTANT that we provide the 112th Congress 1st Session, the opportunity this coming July 2011 when they are back in Session, to consider the “ONE QUESTION” being asked by WE THE PEOPLE.


That “ONE QUESTION” being asked of EACH AND EVERY CONGRESSMAN, by EACH AND EVERY RESPECTIVE CONSTITUENT is: Congressman ....(name).... DEFINE by August 1, 2011 what “Natural Born Citizen” means in respect to one being qualified to seek and hold the office of the President of the United States of America according to our Constitution? Please give MY (our) “ONE QUESTION” the attention it deserves in the time frame requested. Sign your name and address.


You are asking THE question, only one question, stick to the question, no redirect and no deflection, tell them to just answer the damn question!


Start asking your representative when you read this, FAX, EMAIL and PHONE any and all of their District and DC offices. Send POST CARDS by USPS to their district office (they arrive sooner) as piles are impressive. Heck for the price, two or three post cards can be sent. Print post cards up and hand them out for a signatures so all they have to do is sign it and drop it in the mail, and by all means plaster the “ONE QUESTION” everywhere possible.


Here is the hard part: put Congresses appearance of complicity aside until after August 1, 2011, until after we have a chance to review their (House, Senate or both) response(s) to our ONE QUESTION, until after they commite one way or the other. Let it go until after August 1, 2011, DON’T ENGAGE IN DEBATE wait until August 1, 2011 – it will drive them nuts. Let it boil within you but only ask “THE” ONE QUESTION a hundred times until August 1, 2011. Give our elected Representatives aka NAILS, our employees a opportunity to respond to their boss WE THE PEOPLE, aka HAMMER.4063329968?profile=original


After August 1, 2001 depending on their response(s) – use your judgment on what to do.


In the mean time as we prepare to celebrate Independence Day, lets also prepare for the day after, Tuesday July 5, 2011, which marks the sixth month anniversary of the swearing in of the 112th Congress. Abraham Lincoln said it best, “We the People are the rightful master of both congress and the courts – not to overthrow the Constitution, but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution.”


In most states, there is a waiting period of six months after swearing in of the U.S. Congress before recall petitions can be initiated. On July 5 we can send an indirect direct message, start recalls on them all, each and everyone as we don’t know how they are going to answer our “ONE QUESTION.” Why walk around with one petition, when you can walk around with a fist full of them? Check your local laws and get started July 5, 2011. As for States that do not allow recall of their Senators, start a recall on them anyway, as well as initiate petitions to change any said laws prohibiting the recall of those not representing or responding to our best interest.




Just who is allowing this to continue, the U.S. Senate, the House - both, or the courts slow response before the election, after the election, or both? Or WE THE PEOPLE the boss; are we allowing this tyranny to be played against us?


IF I HAD A HAMMER (The Hammer Song)

words and music by Lee Hays and Pete Seeger

(last chorus)

Well I've got a hammer

And I've got a bell

And I've got a song to sing

All over this land

It's the hammer of justice

It's the bell of freedom

It's the song about love between my brothers and my sisters

All over this land


WOW, If I had a hammer, never thought a song written to support the progressive movement would symbolize the struggle to save America from the clutches of those same progressives.


Than again I kind of like


When You’re Holding a Hammer (Everything Looks Like a Nail!)

Words and Music by Kyle Hill and Bryan Glover

(last chorus)

There’ll be a party come this November

Where we’re gonna set things straight

All good people gonna gather ‘round

Gonna show what made this country great

We’ll run off the schemers and back-room dealers

So the Red, White and Blue will prevail

When we’re holding the hammer

When we’re holding the hammer

When we’re holding the hammer

Every one of them looks like a nail





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I wrote this in response to a young man who was fired for writing a patriotic song. He was a public school football coach and made the mistake of having a politcally incorrect viewpoint. Links to the song are below.


Priniciple Curtis, Williamson County School District, Franklin TN

chrish (at) wcs.edu

Way to go, Principle Curtis!

"Mmm, Mmm, Mmm! Barack Hussein Obama!!!" Wouldn't it have been nice if that was what Mr. Glover chose to record? He could have had the whole school sing along then, no doubt. (You cant help but notice that the teacher involved with THAT musical masterpiece received no disciplinary action whatsoever...hmmm.)

Way to show your students and your community what vicious liberal censorship looks like. Believe me when I tell you that what you have done is going to end up costing the district - you just gave yourself and your school a self-inflicted black eye in the PR department and a lot of people will be looking at making some changes in Williamson County SD as a result. To top it off, you single handedly gave a bunch of bright young athletes a slap to the face for their hopes for this football season...again, GREAT JOB!! I am sure Mr. Looney is proud of you and your actions... Hmmm?...

So, Bravo! All of you so-called "progressives" love squashing any opinion you don't agree with - Brian Glover and Juan Williams in the same week!! Stalin and Mao would be so proud of you.

Apparently, you don't understand that the 1st Amendment of the Constitution exists to protect the speech you DON'T like and not the speech that YOU approve of. You used your power like a tyrant - and tyrants deserve nothing but overthrow and rebellion.

CENSORSHIP is one of the MOST UN-AMERICAN actions you could have taken. NPR is going to suffer and you and your district will too. You couldn't destroy this man's music, or his message, so you destroyed his career. You should be ashamed, but you're not - and that makes your particular (politically motivated) retaliation even more beneath contempt.

Freedom of Speech...FOREVER.
Good luck with the public scorn.... enjoy it! The story is now so fully viral that the song has now reached MILLIONS. Probably didnt see that coming, did you?

Sick and Tired of Politically Correct, Social "Progressives"! (AKA The New Face of Fascism.)

Robert F. Stewart


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Paul, “The Psychic” Octopus,

Predicts Obama’s Leanings

It’s been an absolutely exciting thirty-two days for an eight-legged celebrity who’s gone from obscurity, to becoming the toast of the World Cup soccer tournament, to death threats, to recently unveiling the truth about Barack Obama . . . . Unfortunately, because of those death threats, the expected well-deserved rest earned by the jaunty cephalopod “Oracle Paul,” the Octopus, has been put off until such a time as German authorities can guarantee his safety at his home zoo or in some other secure locale. By now the story is well-known but nevertheless astonishing.

Paul, an octopus at a German zoo, had already shown himself a crack prognosticator in the run up to the World Cup soccer tournament, but the eight-legged wonder, it seems, was just warming up. Not wanting to tire him, his German handlers put Paul at first on special duty predicting only the result of games where Germany was involved. They allowed Paul a tasty mollusk after each prediction on the eve of World Cup games. Shown two tanks with the flags of the countries involved in tomorrow’s game . . . Paul unerringly and immediately opened the tank and ate the mollusk of the winning team . . . . really, you can’t make this stuff up! See the links at the top of the page if you’re not already familiar with Paul’s exploits . . . .

In the three-game group phase starting the tournament, Paul immediately predicted a German win over Australia and Germany obliged with a 4-0 shellacking of the Aussies. Then for the second game, Paul showed himself not prone to political correctness by forecasting that lowly Serbia would beat the mighty Germans . . . German fans were outraged and called for sushi!

Serbia indeed, downed the Germans 1-0 in probably the single biggest upset in World Cup history. Paul’s handlers were flooded with octopus recipes from angry Teutonic fans. But those calling for his weird-football-shaped head were soon fascinated by Paul’s incredible accuracy in predicting the German victories over England and Mexico with absolutely no hesitation . . . by this time Paul had become a worldwide celebrity and film clips of him making his deft predictions flooded the internet. And then the unthinkable happened.

In the semi-finals of the knockout phase of the tournament, Paul again abandoned political correctness and chose Spain to end Germany’s hopes of holding the World Cup Trophy. When once again (the sixth straight time) the tentacled theorists was proved correct, bitter German rooters made several plays on Paul’s life and the octopus was forced to do his further predictive work wearing a flak jacket and odd helmet. Tasters were hired to ensure that the Oracle’s food was not poisoned.

It was a tense three days. However, most fans foregave Paul when he predicted German victory in the consolation game after which the German team held the 3rd place trophy aloft. And then, for the first time Paul’s trainers allowed the octopus to venture a guess on a game in which Germany was not involved, the championship game between the Netherlands and Spain. Once again without hesitation, the psychic octopus bravely made his selection within seconds of being offered a Dutch mollusk or a Spanish one . . . once again siding with Spain. When the Spanish won 1-0 with a goal late in the second overtime, Paul was vindicated with eight successful picks in eight opportunities.

Unable to return home because of the dangers awaiting him, Paul was loaned to a think tank attempting to deduce if the tentacled wonder was really soccer knowledgeable or just lucky. Soon convinced of his skill, the laboratory put Paul to the arduous task of identifying world leaders by the flag of their countries. Paul was in one afternoon able to connect the flags of Russia, England, France, South Africa, Brazil, Germany, Canada, Japan, to pictures of their leaders. Amazingly, he hesitated only three seconds before uniting the newly-chosen Polish leader with that country’s flag. However, given six chances to unite the only flag remaining with the only leader’s picture remaining, Paul refused to do so . . . finally after an hour, Paul entered the tank containing the picture of Barack Obama and formed his legs into a hammer and sickle . . . from the mouths of babes and beaks of octupi . . . and now Paul is headed to a secret location in a Swiss zoo until the heat dies down in Germany. By the way, he’s predicting a DJIA average of 11,300 for New Year’s Day despite 10.1% unemployment.

Ya’ll live long, strong and ornery,


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