EAGLES & OTHER BIRD BRAINS
by Burt Prelutsky
  IF YOU WANT TO COMMENT TO BURT PRELUTSKY ARTICLE, PLEASE MENTION MY NAME RUDY...   Contact Burt at burtprelutsky@icloud.com  


After the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles let it be known that most of the team had no intention of showing up at the White House, indicating that only the owner and the mascot would make an appearance, President Trump canceled the invitation.

The organization then said they might agree to be honored if the event could be postponed until Trump had gone to Singapore.

Here’s my advice to Trump and all of his successors: Stop inviting sports teams to the White House. I don’t know who started the silly tradition, but it’s time to put an end to it. These guys get more than enough mindless adulation from their fans, not to mention more money in a year than most of us will make in our lifetimes.

Save these celebratory occasions for military veterans and the sort of anonymous Americans who are trotted out only once a year and seated in the balcony during State of the Union addresses. You know – those folks who have done something besides pass a football or dribbled a basketball, something extraordinarily self-sacrificial that reminds us what actual heroes look like.

⦿  Jimmy Kimmel, who has made a career out of demeaning President Trump and members of his family and administration, got the stoopnagels in his studio audience to laugh and applaud by mocking Mrs. Trump’s accent.

That is despicable on so many levels, I hardly know where to begin. First of all, she has an accent because she’s foreign-born, but it’s not entirely beside the point that she’s fluent, if possibly accented, in five languages. But that cuts no ice with the snot who wastes an hour and a half every night taking cheap shots at a guy who, on top of all his other accomplishments, hosted a long-running TV show that was more successful than Kimmel’s.

I know that Kimmel would claim he’s showing courage by taking on Trump, but we all know better. Real courage would require him to make fun of Al Sharpton’s accent, but he’d never dare, even though the race-hustler was born in the U.S.

Besides, isn’t Kimmel and the other self-righteous show biz bimbos forever reminding us that America is a land of immigrants? Well, it’s a fact that most immigrants have accents, even if they come here from English-speaking countries.

Before we move on, I’m curious where they dredge up the audience for shows like Kimmel’s, “The View” and Stephen Colbert. Do the local zoos rent out their clap-happy seals?

⦿  Although the Supreme Court ruling in favor of baker Jack Phillips was decided on very narrow grounds, at least the Court, by a 7-2 vote, came down in favor of religious rights. Only Sonia Sotomayor and the woman Rush Limbaugh refers to as Ruth Buzzi Ginsburg displayed their usual bigotry towards every religion with the exception of Islam.

On the sensitive topic of homosexuality, I oppose same-sex marriages because I think it’s such a ridiculous notion, but I tend to come down on the side of those who think what people choose to do in their bedrooms is their own business, but only if they extend that same tolerance to what others do in their bakeries.

So long as there are plenty of bakers, florists and photographers, willing to service same-sex weddings, homosexuals have no business trying to compel those who don’t wish to participate. In fact, I would arrest those who seek out religious Christians for the sole purpose of putting them out of business. So long as we’re going to have hate crimes on the books, this should be treated as one.

I realize that homosexuals, bi-sexuals and transgenders, carry a board-sized chip on their shoulders, ready to take offense if anyone even looks at them cross-eyed, but I can’t help sometimes longing for the good old days when the psychiatric profession agreed that such conditions were manifestations of mental disorders.

It figures that the terminally confused community of sexual misfits would take umbrage at therapists who try to “cure” those who desire a cure.

So long as nobody is forced to be cured, I’d say it’s none of their beeswax.

They remind me of those moronic activists who railed at the parents of deaf and blind children who sought out surgeons to cure their kids of their handicaps.

The loons regarded it as an insult to themselves that anyone would think that having all six senses was preferable to having only four or five.

⦿  Kim Jong-un replaced three of his hardline advisors, possibly as a sign of good faith prior to the Singapore summit. I can only imagine how envious Trump must have been, imagining how delicious it would be to make clown-Schumer, Pulosi, scumbag-Durbin and mad-Maxine Waters, disappear with the use of his pen or his phone.

⦿  While promoting a novel he is pretending to have co-written, liar-Bill Clinton is facing tougher questions than he ever faced as president. Asked how he felt at the time of the Monica Lewinsky scandal, he said: “I felt terrible at the time.”


Not a very chivalrous comment. If he felt that lousy, isn’t that a slam at his paramour? Are we supposed to believe that it was a charitable act on his part, a pity shtoop? What a guy! A regular Albert Schweitzer!

He went on to suggest that even as far back as when he was the governor of Arkansas, he was always a champion of women: “I had a lot of women in my office.” Does this guy even listen to himself?

Things didn’t improve when he added: “I passed a sexual harassment bill as governor.” One could hardly help thinking: “But, usually, when such bills are passed, they’re intended to prevent sexual harassment, not encourage it.”

⦿  When I heard that my home state is passing a tough new mandatory water rationing bill that will restrict water use to 55 gallons-a-day per person by 2022 and 50 gallons by 2030, I almost plotzed. Just for purposes of enlightenment, an 8-minute shower uses about 17 gallons of water, a load of laundry up to 40 gallons.

As usual, I’m trying to look on the bright side. Apparently, raising our state taxes to the highest in the nation and making us pay roughly $1.50 more for a gallon of gas than everyone else hasn’t been enough to wake up the electorate. Perhaps cutting off our water supply, forcing us to decide if we want clean bodies or clean clothes, will finally do the trick.

⦿ I’d like to close with something that Brit Hume, who often provides a touch of much-needed Middle American wisdom to the general discussion at Fox, said to Bret Baier the other evening: “Everyone you know is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Be kind.”

 
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ALERT ALERT

GOP Activist Investigating Hillary Clinton’s Lost Emails
Found Dead — Apparent Suicide By Black Plastic Bag Republican activist Peter Smith was found dead in his hotel room in May 2017 in Rochester, Minnesota.

The hotel staff found Smith with a black plastic bag on his head. He was trying to obtain Hillary Clinton’s lost emails.

UPDATE: Mueller and Congressional investigators have interviewed Smith’s acquaintances several times. Our sources say there is much more to this story.

The Wall Street Journal reported:

Peter W. Smith, a Republican political activist and financier from Chicago who mounted an effort to obtain former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s emails from Russian hackers, died on May 14 after asphyxiating himself in a hotel room in Rochester, Minn., according to local authorities. He was 81 years old.

Mr. Smith’s body was found by a hotel clerk in the Aspen Suites hotel, located across the street from the Mayo Clinic, according to a Rochester Police Department report. An associate of Mr. Smith said that he had recently visited the clinic. A representative for the facility wouldn’t confirm if Mr. Smith was a patient.

Mr. Smith died about 10 days after an interview with The Wall Street Journal in which he recounted his attempts to acquire what he believed were thousands of emails stolen from Mrs. Clinton’s private email server. He implied that Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, then serving as the senior national security adviser to presidential candidate Donald Trump, was aware of his efforts…

…The police report said Mr. Smith was found by a hotel clerk with a plastic bag around his head attached tightly with black rubber bands. Mr. Smith “left documentation on why he committed suicide, medical records, his written obituary, and life insurance” on a table in his room, the report said.

OMG

Massachusetts Man Arrested After Trying To Hire
A Hit Man On Twitter To Kill ICE Agents For $500

A 33-year-old lefty from Cambridge, Massachusetts named Brandon Ziobrowski was arrested Thursday after offering anyone on Twitter $500 to kill ICE agents.

Ziobrowski also expressed his desire to slit John McCain’s throat in several tweets.

FOX News reported:

A Massachusetts man was arrested in New York on Thursday after trying to hire a hit man on Twitter to kill ICE agents for $500 and sharing his desire to slit the throat of Sen. John McCain, federal officials said.

The U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Massachusetts said that Brandon Ziobrowski, 33, from Cambridge, Mass. was charged with one count of use of interstate and foreign commerce to transmit a threat and injure another person for the alleged Twitter posts this year.

Federal officials said Ziobrowski tweeted a murder for hire solicitation to kill Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents for $500, and repeatedly tweeted his desire to slit the throat of McCain, R-Ariz.

“The agents and officers out there enforcing federal laws are doing their job, plain and simple,” U.S. Attorney Andrew Lelling said at a news conference. “There is a difference between public debate and putting others in fear of their lives.”

Federal officials said Ziobrowski in March started tweeting threatening messages against federal agents that work for ICE.

On July 2, the 33-year-old allegedly tweeted: “I am broke but will scrounge and literally give $500 to anyone who kills ICE agent. @me seriously who else can pledge get in on this lets make this work.”

The Justice Department released a statement on the arrest of Ziobrowski:

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