humor (67)

Mad Maxine…As Unstable As They Come

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

max-1.jpg?width=217“A Member, Delegate, Resident Commissioner, officer, or employee of the House shall conduct himself at all times in a manner that shall reflect creditably on the House.” (House Rule 23, clause 1.)

Given that particular rule, and considering what House member Maxine Waters said to a small group of like mindless liberals in Los Angeles…“If you see anybody from that Cabinet in a restaurant, in a department store, at a gasoline station, you get out and you create a crowd and you push back on them! And you tell them that they are not welcome, anymore, anywhere,” it would seem Mad Maxine is in trouble.

Her statement, an incitement to violence could, and should get her expelled from the House, and it could, and should land her ample arse in an official investigation from which jail time could, and should be forthcoming.

That is the most of Mad Maxine’s problems, but it’s the least of the problems for the liberal party.

Let me explain…

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

fs-1.jpg?width=185The 1st Amendment is clear…

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

While the first part of the 1st Amendment is the stuff of another article altogether, it is the second part of it that I want to deal with today…the part regarding our right to freedom of speech…one of the premier foundation stones of this Constitutional Republic.

You will notice that the language fails to put upon that right any stipulations, although certain stipulations have been placed on it by the Supreme Court over the years…

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Obama’s Dry Hump 2017 World Tour

By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Lou Dobbs, in a recently published piece, has rightfully pointed out that Barack Hussein dh-1.jpg?width=165Obama…that would be private citizen Barack Hussein Obama, has been shadowing President Trump around the world…meeting with the same world leaders as President Trump.

Obviously, Obama is worried that his 8 long years of trying to make America as destitute as the rest of the world is in danger of being erased as Trump has set forth to Make America Great Again.

If it wasn’t so sad…it would be funny…okay…it is funny.

Let’s have a look at the travel itinerary shall we?

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By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Somewhere in a swirl of depression, delusion and desperation, exists the liberal/socialistdin-1.jpg?width=216 party formerly known as democrats. They are unhinged, and more frenzied than a spastic poodle in a room full of ADHD squirrels.

The MINORITY in both halls of congress seems to think they have the power to impeach the president…because they apparently weren’t paying attention to School House Rock as children, and last week, their desperation manifested itself in epic fits of irrelevance.

Just a couple of years ago, Barack Hussein Obama traded 5 Taliban war council members for 1 U.S. traitor, thus releasing the Islamists back into the wild, and theaters of war…and the liberal/socialists said nothing.

No stink was raised by a single liberal anywhere…

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Comey Go Homey

By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

comey-1.jpg?width=159So…it’s been an interesting week.

France, more than half a century after the end of WWII finally surrendered to Germany and President Trump finally fired FBI Director, James Comey.

The former has Islamists dancing on the Champs Elysées and Angela Merkel now running two countries without borders…while the latter has Hillary Clinton sweating like Britney Spears on Jeopardy.

Liberals, being the socialists that they are, are overjoyed at the prospect of an even more socialistic France crawling with assorted, but unvetted Islamists, but their heads are exploding over the firing of James Comey.

It’s the difference between Moulin le Boom…

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Neil Gorsuch…From Judge to Justice

By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Did ya hear some of the crap that was being spewed at the Neil Gorsuch confirmation sc-1.jpg?width=222hearings the other day, from the mouths of liberal manure spreaders?

Take Al Franken for instance…he literally told Judge Gorsuch…who, by the way, will soon be JUSTICE Gorsuch…“Your Constitution isn’t MY Constitution!”

Franken, I suspect, was 100% correct…as Judge…I mean JUSTICE Gorsuch’s Constitution is the one written and ratified by our nation’s Founders and Framers…while Franken’s is in manifesto form penned for the ilk of communist parties everywhere.

That said…

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Mad Maddow Goes Mad Cow

By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Liberal Derangement Syndrome now has a poster boy…Rachel Maddow from rm-2.jpg?width=141MSNBC…and if any but liberal loons were in charge of the mainstream media, Maddow’s broadcast on Tuesday night would officially be listed in a coroner’s report as a suicide.

For hours before going on the air, poster boy Maddow hyped her show by claiming that at 9pm eastern time, she would be releasing President Trump’s tax returns, and she punctuated her hype with the word, “seriously.”

No kidding…”seriously.”

“BREAKING: We’ve got Trump tax returns. Tonight, 9pm ET. MSNBC. (Seriously).”

Obviously, Maddow is desperate, as is MSNBC as a whole, to get a ratings point ahead of that of a three day old wiener on a gas station weenie roaster. Maddow claimed that an investigative reporter, who turned out to be David Cay Johnson, a Pulitzer Prize winner, had found…in his mailbox…

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Liberals…Glass Houses and Dancing Doofi

By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

You know what they say…glass-2.jpg?width=238

Those who live in glass houses…will have many dead birds at their foundations.

While liberals make slobbering fools of themselves regarding Jeff Sessions and his meeting with a Russian Ambassador, insisting that he either recuse himself from any investigation related to the Trump administration and the Russians…which he has done…or resign over HIS meeting with Ambassador Kislyak…they forgot to close their own drapes.

Did Sessions meet with Kislyak? Yep, he sure did.

Did he discuss the 2016 election with Kislyak? He says he didn’t, and there is no evidence to counter that claim.

Was his meeting with Kislyak illegal, in any way, shape or form?

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Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Allow me, for a moment, to channel my inner snowflake…tiz-1.jpg?width=204

HOLY CRAP!!!!

This is bigger that Watergate,

This is potentially more devastating than Pearl Harbor…more of a disaster than 9/11.

It’s bigger than the Hindenburg, Titanic, the San Francisco earthquake and Mrs. O’Leary’s cow in Chicago all rolled into one.

And that cow was pretty good sized.

Hide the women and children, buckle up and put on your helmets…this is HUGE!!!

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A Memo to Moonbats

By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Dear Liberals…lib-1.jpg?width=234

Either you’re lying, or you’re as dumb as a box of bricks.

I suspect it’s a combination of the two.

The entire world is watching your complete and utter meltdown and third world regimes that are holding on by a thread are laughing at you. You want to become the Emperor and yet you continue to run amok stark naked believing that everyone is admiring your make-believe cloak of tolerance.

You’re not fooling anyone.

To you, the entire world exists in 140 characters or less, and in your world, your actions only have a shelf-life of a nanosecond, or as long as it takes for your Twitter feed to scroll down because ten other people either tweeted a photo of themselves in a bathroom mirror, or they tried to abbreviate a series of monosyllabic words into a bag of barfed up alphabet soup with a hashtag they hope beyond hope will catch on.

Oh…I’m just getting started…

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Liberal Women Behaving VERY Badly

By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

puss-12.jpg?width=186I didn’t want to do this…but because of the abject stupidity of it, I now feel compelled to issue this article and address it to specifically those…whatever they were…at last weekend’s parade of pussies in Washington DC.

What in THE hell, were you bunch of drooling, slobbering liberals thinking?

Seriously…you wanted to have a voice…you had the biggest stage imaginable…you wanted yourselves and whatever cause it was you claimed to represent to be taken seriously, and you dressed up like clowns from a circus of hookers, drew up vulgar signs and pranced about like a 500,000 member gaggle of shrieking, malcontented, pissed-off sufferers of PMS pansies.

In just 24 hours, you mangy morons managed to show more disrespect, more abject hatred of your own gender and did more to demean your cause that President Trump could possibly do in a lifetime.

And speaking of gender…

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Note to the True Deplorables…

By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Note to liberals…the 1960’s called and they want their self-righteous indignation back.sri-1.jpg?width=206

They seem to be a one trick pony, these liberals, who are planning protests and threatening major disruptions of this Friday’s inauguration events, but what should we expect of those who carry around the liberal/socialist manifesto, “Rules for Radicals” in their man-purses?

This is the bunch that staged a sit-in or two in the halls of congress when they failed to get their way.

We’re talking about the party that curled up in fetal positions, cried and demanded therapy puppies, crayons and bottles of bubbles in their college and university campuses while their ever-so-enlightened liberal/socialist indoctrinators cancelled exams for the terminally repressed when their anointed one, the treasonous Hillary Clinton wasn’t crowned the Queen.

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The Snowflake’s Blame Game Epic Fail

By Craig Andresen – Right Side Patriots on American Political Radio

Well, the time has come to update folks regarding the Jill Stein/Hillary Clinton recounts in three states…Michigexc-1.jpg?width=191an, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania.

Hillary Stein-Clinton was looking for voter fraud in those states…and she, or they, found it.

There was, indeed, voter fraud…on behalf of Hillary Clinton…of which those of us who pay attention to such things knew would happen well in advance of last month’s election…and the recount efforts have now exposed it for all to see.

First…let’s have a look at Michigan.

In Michigan…which was “to close to call” on election night, although in our election night coverage, Diane Sori and I officially, and as it turned out, rightfully called Michigan for Donald Trump days before it was made official…the Hillary Stein-Clinton recount focused the bright light of reality directly where Hillary didn’t want it.

In 50% of Detroit’s precincts, no recount could be done because…the numbers of the votes counted by machines was decisively higher than the number of votes cast by those who signed in at those precincts.

Oddly, if not predictably…

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By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on cprworldwidemedia.net

stink-1.jpg?width=244According to Iran’s Ali Khamenei, the Ayatollah Ass-a-Hola…

“Our policies toward the arrogant government of the United States will not be changed at all. American policies are 180 degrees different from us.”

That…as the chants of “DEATH TO AMERICA” and “DEATH TO ISRAEL” continue to rise from the streets of Tehran and while 4 Americans remain as hostages inside that terrorist sponsoring nation’s borders. THAT…as Obama rushed off to the United Nations to have his treasonous “deal” sanctified by the very organization that did NOTHING when Iraq violated 17 resolutions in 12 years.

THAT, as Obama and his various minions try to SELL the “deal” to members of congress amid reports of 2 BACKDOOR deals engineered by the IAEA and IRAN to which congress is not being made privy.

And TO the words and chants emanating from the world’s butt-crack…John Kerry had THIS to say last week: “I don’t know how to interpret it at this point in time, except to take it at face value, that that’s his policy. But I do know that often comments are made publicly and things can evolve that are different.”

“If it is the policy, it’s very disturbing, it’s very troubling, and we’ll have to wait and see.”

Ummm…

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MAYBE WHAT ISIS NEEDS…IS AN ENEMA!!!

By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on cprworldwidemedia.com

HARF-1.jpg?width=226You didn’t really think I was going to let this pass did you?

According to Marie Harf and in regard to how to stop ISIS…

“We’re killing a lot of them and we’re going to keep killing more of them. So are the Egyptians, so are the Jordanians. They’re in this fight with us. But we cannot win this war by killing them. We cannot kill our way out of this war. We need in the medium to longer term to go after the root causes that leads people to join these groups, whether it’s lack of opportunity for jobs…”

We cannot kill our way out of this war???

Seriously???

According to Harf…an Obama regime mouthpiece of extreme vapidity…we need to identify the…what was it she called it again? Oh yes…the ROOT CAUSES that leads people to join these groups…whether it’s lack of opportunity for jobs…”We can work with countries around the world to help improve their governance. We can help them build their economies so they can have job opportunities for these people…”

Well, I must admit…the notion that we can stop ISIS, al-Qaeda, Boko Haram, the Muslim Brotherhood, Hamas, Hezbollah, the Taliban and any number of other barbaric Islamist factions with a JOBS FAIR has never occurred to me.

How about YOU?

They’re all pissed and killing everybody via burning them to death, beheading them, crucifying them, stoning them and whatever else 7th century barbarians do to end human life because…

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Brady's Balls Pale by Comparison

By Craig Andresen – The National Patriot and Right Side Patriots on cprworldwidemedia.com

top-1.jpg?width=163Okay…I was out for a few days last week and am slowly regaining the strength necessary to take on ass hats as a matter of daily routine but I feel the need to tie up a few loose ends so…let me just see if I have this all straight in my head.

ISIS is still beheading anybody who doesn’t take up with them and massacring all who hold to any ACTUAL RELIGION over their pedophile prophet’s ideology of hate and genocide. This week, they burned a man alive and broadcast it.

Is that about correct?

Iran is still in the process of becoming he first 7th century barbaric country on earth to have THE most deadly 21st century weapon and a delivery system capable of reaching halfway around the globe…the nuke and the ICBM and now, more than a dozen petulant 6 year old liberal members of congress say they will NOT be in the chamber when Netanyahu speaks in March.

Is THAT about correct?

Obama, who WON’T meet with Netanyahu because protocol says it’s too close to the Israeli election IS sending a five person staff, including HIS 2012 field campaign manager, Jeremy Bird, to Israel to…run the anti-Netahyahu campaign run the campaign “out of offices taking up the ground floor of a Tel Aviv office building,” according to Haaretz reporter Roi Arad because…that DOESN’T break protocol.

Do I have THAT about right?

And…

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Friday Fume

By Craig Andresen on August 29, 2014 at 4:36 am

fume-12-236x300.jpg?width=236Ahhhh…Another Friday.

We’ve reached the end of the week and the beginning of a 3 day weekend. I know you’re probably heading somewhere, to forget reality for a few days and, YOU, my Patriot friends deserve it.

LIBERALS on the other hand, are on a lifetime break from reality so THEY probably won’t even notive the long weekend.

Let’s ge5t it all started with a rather SNARKY look at the week that was. My friends and soon to be traveling Patriots…It’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Okay…for all you liberals out there that think socialism is the GREATEST thing since the invention of BEAN SPROUTS AND BIRKENSTOCKS…allow me to explain to you the law of diminishing returns.

A few years ago…citing bogus claims of “GLOBAL WARMING…the Republik of Kalifornia decided to make gas companies put in a whole bunch of additives…to make gas burn cleaner…and before too long…they had THE most expensive gas in the nation.

Well…people didn’t like that and, giving how Kalifornians LOVE to drive their cars…they started buying cars that get better MILEAGE.

Better mileage…less gas. Less gas…falling revenues from GAS TAXES.

DOH!!! What’s a socialist state to DO when BIG government is put on a diet???

They started RAISING the gas tax to make up for the shortfall.

What did the PEOPLE do in response? THEY started buying gas/electric HYBRIDS so as to use LESS gas.

Less gas…less revenue…

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Friday Fume

By Craig Andresen on August 22, 2014 at 6:07 am

fume-11.jpg?width=285It’s been quite the week in the land of liberal loons and at the end of every week, we try to tie it all up in one snarky package…WITH AN ATTITUDE!!!

Let’s not dally and dive right in.

Patriots and Friends…It’s FRIDAY and you KNOW what THAT means…

I’m fuming.

Remember when we told you, years ago, that Obama violated the law by placing the Fast and Furious documents he didn’t want Eric Holder to turn over to the House committee under lock and Executive Privilege key?

Sorry liberals…WE WERE RIGHT!!!

Yesterday, a FEDERAL JUDGE…one U.S. District Judge Amy Berman Jackson to be exact…set the fast and furiously approaching date of OCT 1ST as the date by which Eric WITHHOLDER must…drum roll please…TURN OVER ALL THOSE DOCUMENTS TO DARRELL ISSA AND THE HOUSE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE!!!

Does anyone but me smell an impending hard drive crash in the offing?

Now I KNOW that Holder just told the assembled mob in Ferguson that he TOO was a black man but…I do declare…he looks as white as sheet right now.

What’s the matter Holder? Did you just see the ghost of Brian Terry???

By October 1st, Holder has been ordered by the judge to turn over all unprivileged documents AND…all PRIVILEGED documents as well and Issa has until Oct 17th to register any objection regarding any documents that AREN’T turned over.

Why…That’s just a couple of weeks before the…

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Friday Fume

By Craig Andresen on August 15, 2014 at 4:11 am

fume-1.jpg?width=253

We have reached that point in the week where we meet LIBERAL, POLITICALLY CORRECT ABSURDITY with a snarky dose of CONSERVATIVE politically DIRECT absurdity.

Let’s not dally…what say we just jump right in?

It’s Friday my friends and you’ve guessed it…

I’m fuming.

Now then…in the world of LIBERAL IDIOTS…there are your garden variety liberal idiots…your elected liberal idiots and…but before we get to all of THAT…please allow me to take a moment and reflect on THE most important news of the ENTIRE week…

In memory of the ‘STILL DEAD…SO WHY IN THE HELL ARE WE CONTINUING TO GET  NEWS UPDATES’ Robin Williams…who didn’t “pass away” as is being widely reported as much as he HANGED HIMSELF WITH HIS OWN BELT…which, no doubt, will lead to liberals calling for all Americans to REGISTER THEIR BELTS…CAUSE OBAMA TO MANDATE 23 BELT CONTROL EXECUTIVE ORDERS WITH HIS PEN AND PROMPT DIANE FEINSTEIN TO CALL FOR MAKING SUSPENDERS ILLEGAL…

WE INTERRUPT THIS FUME WITH BREAKING NEWS REGARDING THE PROLONGED DEATH OF THE KINDEST, MOST GENTILE, GRACIOUS AND GENEROUS MAN WHO EVER LEFT HIMSELF DANGLING BY HIS OWN BELT…SO THAT HIS FAMILY OR CLOSEST FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES COULD FIND HIM AND BE TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE…

Because that’s what really sensitive people do I suppose…

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Friday Fume

By Craig Andresen on August 8, 2014 at 4:28 am

fume-1.jpg?width=294Day by day…minute by minute…Liberals IQ’s are PLUMMETING!!!

Every Friday, I let off a little steam and THIS Friday is no exception. I mean really…did you SEE this from a couple of days ago???

Obama, the dictator, stood at a press conference and actually had THIS to say about whipping out his anti-constitutional PEN and taking voter registration action regarding ILLEGAL ALIENS!!!

“The American people don’t want me just standing around twiddling my thumbs and waiting for Congress to get something done.”

He’s right you know…we DON’T want him standing around twiddling his thumbs…

WE’D RATHER HAVE HIM PACKING UP ALL HIS CRAP…LOADING IT INTO A TRUCK…AND MOVING THE HELL OUT OF OUR WHITE HOUSE!!!

Well…here’s your week in review…WITH A LITTLE ATTITUDE…

Friends and Patriots…

It’s Friday and…

I’m fuming.

Liberal congresswoman, Julia Brownley from the Socialist Repiblik of Kalifornia sent out a campaign flyer a week ago, trying to convince those in her 26th District that she’s all about the family and…THE MILITARY and along with photos of some kids and a family…most likely none of them her own…was one very particular image…

A woman, dressed in what, at first glance, looked like a NAVY uniform but…NOT to some VETERANS who received the flyer.

Veterans should be IMPORTANT to the  politburo wannabe congresswoman as she IS on the House Committee for Veteran Affairs IS ranking member on the House’s Subcommittee on Health, which oversees the VA AND…HER DISTRICT INCLUDES…THE NAVAL BASE IN VENTURA but…

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