Things that I trust more than Hillary Clinton:* Mexican tap water
* A rattlesnake with a "pet me" sign
* OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection * A fart when I have diarrhea
* An elevator ride with Ray Rice
* Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby
* Michael Jackson's Doctor
* An Obama Nuclear deal with Iran
* A Palestinian on a motorcycle      * Gas station Sushi                     * A Jimmy Carter economic plan                                                      * Brian Williams news reports                                                         * Loch Ness monster sightings                                                         * Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton

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