Should Obama Pardon Anthony Weiner?

Satire By John W. Lillpop


Although Anthony Weiner has yet to be charged with any crime(s) for his political boner and abuses via Twitter, it is just a matter of time before the law comes crashing down on the pathetic little weasel, Weiner.

Indeed, despite howls of anguish from the Left, it does not appear as though “Weinergate” will Peter-out any time soon. In the parlance of the media, the story has “legs,” to say nothing of other body parts also making headlines on a daily basis.

In an ominous sign that the bombastic little weenie is in deep doo-doo, entirely of his own making, powerful elitists from the Intellectual Left have circled the wagons around their beloved pervert.

Among the high-profile Loon-iares who have rushed to defend Weiner are Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, Charles Schumer, and the most comical of all, the amazing Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chairwoman of the DNC, who added depth with this brilliant analysis:


“I think Anthony Weiner is dealing with a personal matter and that’s where it should be left.”

Hmmm. Just a personal matter between Weiner and 45,000 of his closest, most trusted Twitter pals, huh? And a young college student in Washington state?

The Wasserman Schultz blahering bears an eerie resemblance to the specious double-talk issued by the Left when President Bill Clinton perjured himself about his sexual affair with Monica Lewinsky.

It is all about “Consensual Sex” they ranted, ignoring the fact that Slick Willie was guilty of perjury and obstruction of justice, serious crimes even when just about sex.
 

As luck would have it, Weiner’s need for divine intervention just happens to correspond quite nicely with Barack Obama’s desperate need for a post-Osama “bounce” in light of the dreadful employment numbers, crumbling economy, declining dollar, and other devastating impact of Obamanomics.

After flaking out on Israel so miserably recently, Obama also needs to mend fences with the Jewish community.

What better way to do that than by officially pardoning the weiner Weiner, one of the most prominent Jews in American politics?

Obama can add to his mending fences initiative by appointing Weiner to represent the U.S. government in opposing San Francisco’s insane anti-circumcision measure that voters will vote on this Fall.

After all, the measure is an unconstitutional, anti-Semitic usurping of federal responsibility because it involves “Tampering with the U.S. male,” a real no-no.

The bottom line: Obama should pardon Weiner, Wasserman Shultz should stuff a sock in her silly mouth, and San Francisco should be ceded to Russia and/or China!

And most importantly, this burning question must be answered: Is Anthony Weiner gay?
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