That’s only part of the reason why I didn’t bother watching this year’s Oscars; “Son-in-Law,” the magnum opus of legendary comedy auteur Pauly Shore, was on CMT at the same time. From what I hear, Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway Steve Harvey‘ed the Best Picture award and Jimmy Kimmel made the notably brave decision of trashing Trump before a live audience that contained virtually no Republicans.
Oh, and there were blue ribbons. Did you notice them?
So, what do these ribbons mean? According to the U.K. Daily Mail, the ribbons signified opposition to Donald Trump’s temporary immigration ban, courtesy of the ACLU’s “Stand with ACLU” campaign. Kloss, it’s worth pointing out, is dating Trump son-in-law Jared Kushner’s brother, so there’s always that angle to report.
The ACLU, as usual, took itself very, very seriously:
Finally. Now we know what people who don’t think much about national security policy think about President Trump’s national security policy. I couldn’t be more relieved.
Ever since red ribbons representing AIDS awareness began appearing on the red carpet decades ago, a ribbon has become the best way to say that you want to take a stand for something without really taking any meaningful action — or knowing anything about it, for that matter.
Don’t believe me? Well, check out this list that shows how ubiquitous these wholly worthless virtue-signaling ribbons have become. For instance, an orange awareness ribbon could mean that you’re taking a stand for people with ADHD, lupus, renal cell carcinoma or Prader-Willi syndrome.
Purple ribbons can also mean you’re taking a stand for people with ADHD, as well as being against elder abuse and/or homophobia. A green ribbon means that you want people to be more aware of issues surrounding literacy, childhood depression, or dwarfism, inter alia. Even a zebra ribbon — which sounds pretty hyper-specific — could mean that you’re taking a stand against endocrine cancer or for “vaccine awareness.”
As for the blue ribbons, it’s worth pointing out that the ACLU didn’t get to the color first. In fact, it’s already reserved for addiction recovery, bullying in the United Kingdom, colon cancer, foster care, the West Nile Virus and Canada’s National Non-Smoking Week.
I, for one, would like to be the first express my outrage at Hollywood’s invidious cultural appropriation when it comes to the plight of former Canadian smokers. #CheckYourPrivilegeEh